


Realization

by Gayer_than_gay



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Bisexual Jeremy Heere, F/M, Gay Michael Mell, Jeremy is confuuuuusedddd, M/M, Pining, actually no shut up I do what I want, i don’t know what i’m doing, this is kinda dumb, this whole plot jumped into my head literally last night so here you go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 18:52:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14983391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayer_than_gay/pseuds/Gayer_than_gay
Summary: As they shared their first kiss together, Jeremy couldn’t help but notice how little he enjoyed it. Sure, it was nice; the room was quiet and dimly lit, gentle rain lightly tapping the roof...but there was no passion. No feeling. Was this normal? Was there something wrong with him? Christine, the girl he had been after for so many years, was right in front of him. As his own. And yet he couldn’t feel a thing.





	Realization

**Author's Note:**

> Oops I did it again

This was it: Jeremy Heere’s first real kiss. And with who he considered his first love. Christine Canigula sat next to him on the couch, her dark brown eyes shining. A single lamp dimly illuminated the room as the rain gently tapped on the roof above them. Brown eyes met blue-green, and they kissed.

Jeremy’s eyes fluttered closed, and he waited for the moment. The moment that everything would slow down, and the love, the passion, the emotion, it would all bubble out of every pore in his body. He waited and waited, but the moment never came. Maybe it all happened so fast that he missed it?

They broke away, and Jeremy took notice of how the sparkle in Christine’s eyes had faded ever so slightly, just as it had faded in his.

He looked around the room. The stairs were empty, the furniture was lifeless. He glanced at Christine to find her confused, her eyebrows furrowed slightly. Suddenly, she stood, reaching out her hand for him to take. He did. She led him to the balcony outside, her hand releasing his and falling to her side. She broke the silence. “Did you feel the same thing I did?”

Jeremy paused. “I...I don’t know...what did you feel?”

”...Nothing.”

 

 

 

 

From there, they had decided to just be friends. It was what they both wanted, but to Jeremy it felt off. He had spent so much time trying to get the girl, only to find that in the end, neither the girl nor he wanted a romantic relationship with the other. As Jeremy got in his car, he began to think about everything that had happened during his Junior year. He thought about how hard he had tried to get Christine to like him. How everything had gone wrong. How, in the end, he was just barely hanging on, and how he would’ve let go if it weren’t for one person.

 

Michael Mell.

 

For some reason, Jeremy felt butterflies in his stomach at just the thought of him.

Michael Mell was always there for him. Michael Mell saw through Jeremy’s desperation and forgave him for everything he had done to him. Jeremy couldn’t understand why he did in the first place, but it was just enough to keep him from tumbling over the edge.

And Michael Mell was exactly who he needed to see.

He sent him a text. It read “Can I call you? It’s important.”

No later did he receive a “Sure. Everything okay?”

Jeremy pressed the call button and sighed in relief as his friend immediately picked up.

”Hey, did something happen?” Michael asked, concerned. “Yeah, everything’s fine, I’m just...” Jeremy paused, trying to think of the right word.

”Confused, I guess.”

”Do you wanna come over? It might be easier to talk about in person, or something.”

“Sure.” It wasn’t like he was in any hurry.

 

 

 _Knock,_ _knock_.

Michael opened the door to find Jeremy drenched from head to toe, a shy grin on his face. They laughed and Michael quickly pulled him inside, going upstairs to grab him a towel and motioning for him to follow.

 

They sat on Michael’s bed as Jeremy described exactly what had happened and what he felt. The pure shock on Michael’s face must have been evident as Jeremy stopped to look at him and...apologize. What for, Michael wasn’t sure.

But as Jeremy further explained himself, he came close to tears bringing up the events of Junior year. He told him how sorry he was, how he couldn’t ever make it up to him and how unrealistically selfless it was of Michael to forgive him. And to that Michael couldn’t help but tear up as well. He said to Jeremy - and these words would stay with the both of them for the rest of their lives - “No matter what happens, I will never, _ever_ find a good enough reason not to forgive you.” And with that, they cried the most they had ever cried together. And there, Jeremy felt it. The emotions, the passion, the _love._ It all came bubbling out of every pore in his body, and so intensely he thought he might burst. And it was the most indescribable feeling in the world.

It was then that Jeremy realized he was in love.

 

**Author's Note:**

> UH oh shit okay I think there might maybe be another chapter if this turns out okay lemme know if it’s good i guess??


End file.
